that don't make you no bad girl

Cut Toe and a Minstrel Show.

2011-01-19T00:00:00.005-06:00

I mentioned in a previous post that I sang country music as a child.

It was 1960 and my parents had abandoned The First Assembly of God church and they were having fun, they had gone back to the group of friends they had before joining the church. They would buy a six-pack of Schlitz and it would last them all week. They hid it when my sister or myself walked in, but we saw it and didn't understand why they hid it.

These friends liked to sing and have fun. They brought guitars, tambourines and mandolins. I was in heaven. I loved it. Mom had a hauntingly beautiful voice. Men were drawn to her beauty and her voice, but she was always loyal to Dad. His name was Billy Joe. My Mom is Yvonne and she sang songs both popular and old-time, mostly country. Listening to Ray Charles, Dinah Washington, Bobby Darin, Jerry Lee, and BB King, she sang the songs of Patsy Cline, Dottie West and one of my favorites at the time, Jeannie Seely. I loved it when Mom sang this one:

Jeannie Seely -- Don't Touch Me

Mom and I started singing at the Odd Fellows Lodge shows. Lodges were a big thing back then. Everyone belonged to some group or another. My Grandpa was an Odd Fellow and he recruited us to sing in the Annual Jamboree. It was a variety show along vaudeville lines. We did several shows at the high school auditorium.

I am ashamed in retrospect at one show we did. I was only six and didn't know it was wrong and this type of show was very popular in the 40's/50's & early 60's. We were in a minstrel show. A Minstrel Show is when white people blacken their faces and hands with charcoal or paint, dress up funny and mock black people. I cringe now, but I thought it was funny to dress up when I was a kid. I have trouble understanding what the grown ups were thinking. Mom wasn't prejudiced at all, she taught us not to judge others, that everyone is created equal, and that everyone has the right to pursue happiness. Somehow we all thought this show was a perfectly respectable thing to do.

I practiced my song for weeks. I had a surprise for Daddy. My song was "Little Liza Jane" and one of the lines was "Brussels carpet on my floor" and I changed the words to "Grabeel Carpet on my floor" Daddy had recently opened his own company selling carpets & drapery's and I thought it might please him.

The day of the show, Mama took us to the public pool for a swim. I walked in the shallow end and immediately cut my big toe almost off on a piece of glass. It turned out there had been a teen party the night before at the Youth Center. A whiskey bottle had been tossed in the pool and I found it.

It was my first trauma. I remember pulling my foot up and seeing my toe hanging, but the water held back the blood for a few seconds and all I saw was white muscle & bone then blood started spurting out. I soaked a towel before we made it to the car. No such thing as 911 then. Mom just screamed for sister, Vicki and we were off to the clinic. The same clinic that sewed Grandpa's finger back on.
I will never forget. I was laid on the white paper covered table on my stomach and when that Doctor put a needle in one of my nerves...well I can't even describe the pain.

It is a pain I have felt since and I declare it worse than labor pains. I broke my thumb a few years ago, it was mangled and crushed by a red Firebird's door. I actually screamed when the nurse put the needle in my raw nerve and I begged him not to do it the next two times. He apologised for it being unnecessary when the Doctor finally looked at the X-rays and saw it was cut to the bone. I learned that if you have a cut to the bone, you're not to expose it to any water at all, it will get badly infected and surgery can not be done. I think I would rather lose the thumb than ever have shots in the nerve again.

Anyways, I was bandaged and medicated and went home to dress for the show. I had to put plastic over the foot to bathe, but I made it on time. I hated walking across the stage to the mic on crutches, but the show must go on, so up I went, my big white wrapped toe drawing all the attention. I love attention, so I am lying when I said I hated the crutches. I was looking right in Daddy's face when I sang the revised line and I saw him beam with pride. The audience gave me a standing ovation. I loved every minute of it.

Mother wore lighter face paint and sang:

"Won't You Come Home, Bill Bailey" This is Patsy Cline's version. I couldn't find a good one of Pearl Bailey)

Grandpa sang the old standards with his Barbershop Quartet. I remember one was "Old Man River", but they did several.

I planned on writing about Panther Hall in Ft Worth.
I am truly surprised that Daddy let Mom & I go there every weekend. I was noticing a change in Daddy. Though it wasn't severe. Daddy just acted a little different when he drank.One day he called Jerry Lee Lewis's agent and invited Jerry Lee to our house for red beans and cornbread. His agent said he was on tour, but he was sure Jerry Lee would have enjoyed them.

He was still the best Dad in the world to me. He took me hunting, fishing, and would lie in the backyard grass with me to teach me the constellations. We loved Hank Williams and we sang "Hey, Good Looking" as a duo. Damn, I miss him.

The Hank Williams video set off some emotions I wasn't expecting. I reckon that does it for me for today. I will tell you about Panther Hall next time if you're interested.

Mom said maybe I shouldn't talk about "The Minstrel Show", but I told her it was part of our personal history and it was a part of Americas shame and it shouldn't be hidden. She agreed.

Great-Grandpa Was A Cattle Thief!

2009-04-16T10:38:00.005-05:00

Jacob William Moultre Grabeel - Margaret Virginia Crockett
Great Grandfather and Great Grandmother

Recently I found my paternal family after a long separation They have a family website, so I have been getting to know them again. Granny and Grandpa died long ago and some of my Uncles and Aunts, but I still have ton's of cousins. I asked for information on my Great Grandparents and I received these pictures and some interesting gossip today.

My Great Granddaddy was shot as a cattle thief. He was a scoundrel and the black sheep of the family. My Grandpa always said his Pa was a butcher and sold meat and that's all he would say, neglected to mention he didn't buy the meat he sold. They lived in Virginia, not sure how the family ended up in Texas.
My Great Grandmother was Margaret Crockett from Tennessee. I have heard all my life that I am related to Davy Crockett. (distant uncle)

Mom, Dad and Granny 1951

I didn't know my Dad's side of the family as well as Mom's. I knew them when I was young. My Grandmother was a very sweet woman, she introduced me to books. Gave me Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn, and Peter Pan for my 6th birthday, as well as a white zip-up Bible with my name imprinted in gold.

I didn't think about it till I was grown - just how ironic that was. She could barely read. She was from the Oklahoma Hills and didn't have a chance for much education, but introduced me to a love of books at six.

Harrison Jocephas Grabeel and Polly Matilda Row Grabeel
(Grandpa and Granny)

My Grandpa was a quiet, gruff German. He was a craftsman and built beautiful wood furniture. What I remember best about him was the loss of one of his fingers while I was staying with them once. Granny didn't drive, so he had to drive himself to the clinic. Granny carried the finger in a glass of ice. I was about seven then. Very exciting stuff for me, not for them, it was the third one he cut off. The Doctor just sewed it back on and we went home.

Grandpa

I never heard anything about their parents. I remember some portraits hanging in the front room of their house. My parents divorced when I was eleven and we quit seeing that side of the family. Everyone moved and holidays became telephone calls then became nothing.

The young man is my Daddy, Billy Joe Grabeel.

and this little doll face is me in 1954.

The Irving Theater

2006-04-27T17:35:00.005-05:00

There was a theater in town on Main Street, it was The Irving Theater. When I was six I started going to the indoor movies there. My Mom had gone to the movies there as a teenager. It smelled of many years of popcorn, giant pickles and spilled sodas. I had only been to the Drive -In movies before, but that is a story for another day. I have mentioned I was addicted to television, but that was nothing compared to the movies. Back then you saw a cartoon, then a news reel, then a feature film then there was an intermission and they showed you a new cartoon, news reel and feature.
Every week I was either scared to death by Vincent Price, Peter Lorre or Boris Karloff or falling in love with Elvis, Frankie Avalon, Kurt Russell, Moondoggie, or Dwayne Hickman. I can't leave out Tony Curtis, Rock Hudson, James Gardner or Cary Grant., though I knew them more from the old movies on TV. I remember my sister jumping up in Mom's lap during "The Tingler" and breaking her belt. That was a creepy movie. There was a talent contest during intermission and I liked to enter. I was so proud when I won a years free passes to the theater AND an Elvis "Fun in Acapulco" album for doing my Elvis imitation and singing "Return to Sender". Some weeks I twisted. some I sang, once I won a limbo contest. That wasn't hard, because I am shorter than the tallest hobbit...haha I stopped growing at 4'11" and was always a very small person. I got my second kiss at the theater by my sister's friends little brother. ( I also was felt up and felt up a boy for the first time here, but that was much later) He was so cute, dark headed with green eyes and he was exotic because he went to a private school, which was unusual back then. I was eight. I take it back it was my third kiss. The first was Mike Trammell when I was five. He lived down the street and he had his Mom buy me a locket. It had blue flowers on it. He pecked me on the slide. The second kiss was Harry Don Rowe, an older boy, he was in 3rd grade and I was in first, he kissed me in line for the playground. This third kiss cost me. My sister was a bully. She told me if I didn't do five favors for her that she would tell Mama that I kissed a boy. I did them. Then she said I had to do five more favors or she would still tell. I did them. She tried it again, but I may be dumb, but I ain't stupid. I had a nice lesson in paying blackmailers. I called her bluff. She called me back. She told Mama. I got a heck of a lecture, which I hated worse than a whoopin'. Mama sure could make you feel shamed. If she only knew what my neighborhood best friend and I did. My sister and I had become best friends with Mama's best friends daughters. No choice. The older one was very irritating, always slapping my leg over and over rapidly and calling it "Love pats" It hurt. The younger one and I had a lot of fun playing nasty, I don't know how we knew how. I am so glad we never got caught. I know almost everyone does it as children, but things were not liberal back then and I would have been shamed badly. Later on there was an entire group of us girls. We would meet in the attic and see who had learned a new nasty word or we would strip tease with scarves. I had seen a movie I wasn't supposed to called "Promises Promises" about strippers and was also a huge Natalie Wood fan and she had done Gypsy Rose Lee, so I taught the others. Back to the theater. On Wednesdays it was free pass day. You could go to any of the local stores and they would give you the free passes. The Mom's would drop us all off for four hours and have a little time to themselves. Thursday was Pepsi Cola day. You could get in for 6 Pepsi caps. The regular price was 50cents. I went Wed. , Thurs. and Sat. afternoons. I grew up there. We had a new theater come to town when I was about twelve, The Chateau, it was new and cool, but nothing will ever be as fun and cool as The Irving Theater was.

I Remembered! World's Finest Chocolates

2006-04-09T02:19:00.001-05:00

The candy bar name I couldn't remember was World's Finest Chocolates. They still sell them for fundraising, though the bars are half the size and twice the price. I wonder if they melt on your tongue like they used to. Wished I had one to try.

The Neighborhood

2006-03-29T21:13:00.006-06:00

Have you watched "Leave It To Beaver" or any of the shows from the fifties? My life was like that, except it was two girls instead of two boys.

<---we had this car - it had push button gears-one morning the reverse button got stuck while Mom was warming it up and it backed itself out of the driveway and was going backwards in slow circles in the middle of the street. Daddy had to run in several circles before he was able to jump in and stop it. Sis and I were sooooo embarrassed.

We lived in a neighborhood where everyone watched out for everyone else's kids. Where it was alright to take off in the morning and stay gone all day as long as you were home by dark. We put on talent shows in our garages and charged two cents for a Pixie cup of Kool-Aid. My Mom bought us Prom dresses at the Goodwill store to wear in our shows.

supercalafragilisticecspealadocious

We also had Kool-Aid stands in front of our houses and folks would pull over and buy a Tupperware glass full of the icy cold drink for a dime. We would go from house to house collecting for The March of Dimes, selling Girl Scout cookies, or that delicious chocolate bar "Softball Chocolate" what I would give for some of that chocolate. I don't know the real name for it, but it was a huge chocolate bar with break off pieces and it was wonderful. It was a dollar a bar.

Halloween was fun, we would go around the block three times, hitting the best houses every time. It was so safe and secure then. Our parents didn't even go with us once we were eight or older. We were warned against unwrapped candy though.
Daddy was starting to do really well at his job. We were invited to his bosses house for dinner. Mom went to J.C. Penny's and bought us all new dresses, we were washed and primped and excited.

<---Camelot, we loved President Kennedy at our house. I was in fourth grade when he was killed. We were very upset it happened when he was visiting our area.

We could tell it meant a lot to Mom and Dad to be on our best behavior. The boss Mr. Bell and his wife Mrs. Bell had a very nice home in North Dallas. I was about eight as this time and sister was ten. Mrs Bell had two children, a boy, twelve and a girl, nine.

The Miss America pageant was on TV and Mrs Bell and Mom were watching it and having Tom Collins in tall, cloudy glasses with a lime and orange slice on the edge of the glass. I remember it very clearly for some reason. It was the first time I saw Mom envious. Mrs Bell had just had new paneling put in the Dining room. I could see Mom wanted it badly. We did have paneling added to our dining room in later years. I don't know where the men went. I think there was a Billiard table somewhere. Mrs Bell told her kids to take us and show us their rooms. They has tons of stuff and they were kinda mean and snotty to me and sister, though the girl was nicer to sister and they started playing after a while. I (being me) followed the boy to his room. He tried to act cool, but he liked the attention and ended up showing me some neat toys.

He had the Magic Shot Shooting Gallery, Rock N Sock Em Robots, and some neat Matchbox Cars. I was in Heaven. He also had a train set that I wanted so badly. I begged Daddy to get me one and he said they were for boys and I should stop being silly.

My Mom loved dolls and still does and so sister and I got Barbie dolls as soon as the came out. Grandpa Williams (Mom's Dad) was living with us then and he built us a three story doll house and Mom furnished it with all the newest gadgets. We had a kitchen and the oven lit up and had a little rotisserie chicken in it, a sink with running water. The bedroom was so pretty . Mom had made an itty bitty bedspread and rug. The living room had all the details, lamps, phones, books, table, couch, chairs and a TV. It was a special Christmas. One of many you will probably hear about if you keep reading this.

Soon

2006-03-26T01:01:00.000-06:00

I tried to look as unblinkingly at myself, I tried to write about every single person in my book with compassion. There are no villains in this story. Joyce Maynard

I will be back tonight or tomorrow to continue my story.

2006-03-21T01:07:00.000-06:00

Daddy, Big Sister, Mama and little me. 1952

I am tired today and I won't be posting memories. I think this blog is going to wear me out. Dredging up old memories can be nice and it can be disturbing as well. I am having trouble uploading pictures this week. I got this one then the uploader started acting up. I will return soon.

Ideal Childhood

2006-03-18T18:56:00.012-06:00

"The Logical Song" by Supertramp

When I was young
It seemed that life was so wonderful
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical
And all the birds in the trees
Well they´d be singing so happily
Oh joyfully, oh playfully watching me
But then they sent me away
To teach me how to be sensible
Logical, oh responsible ,practical
And they showed me a world
Where i could be so dependable
Oh clinical, oh intellectual, cynical

There are times when all the world´s asleep
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man
Won´t you please, please tell me what we´ve learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who i am

Now watch what you say
Or they´ll be calling you a radical
A liberal, oh fanatical, criminal
Oh won´t you sign up your name
We´d like to feel you´re
Acceptable, respectable, oh presentable, a vegetable!

At night when all the world´s asleep
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man
Won´t you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who i am, who i am ,who i am.

I don't think life could of been better than it was the first nine years of my life. I was Daddys shadow. He called me Little Billy. He took me hunting and camping with him and sometimes to work.

I recall waking before daylight and Mom dressing me in layer after layer of clothes and packing us a thermos of coffee before we headed out to Grapevine Lake.(I started drinking coffee at two) I live at Grapevine Lake now, but it is a different world now than it was then. We just walked around with guns and bows and arrows. Daddy let me carry a small 22 rifle, but I never shot anything. We would sit up in a duck blind in the freezing cold for hours, being very quiet except for the sound of Dads duck calls. I got in trouble more than once for playing with them. Sometimes we went squirrel hunting and brought squirrels home and Mom made dumplings...yuck. I could never eat that now, but then it was the reason we wanted them. I would pretty much eat anything Daddy would eat and he ate some strange foods. I guess he had to when he was growing up. I drew the line at pigs feet though. Yuck.

I was pleasantly surprised at how good frogs legs were. Daddy would go frog gigging with his friends late at night. He would bring bullfrogs home alive then kill them. Once a big live snake came out when he cut one open. I also remember liking rabbit. Mom would fry it like chicken and it tasted like chicken, but with more white meat.

Sometimes Daddy and I would throw a blanket down in the back yard at night and he would teach me the constellations. It was much darker outside then, before DFW Airport, you could see five times as many stars as you see now.

Mom never worked then and she kept things nice at home. She had friends in the neighborhood with kids our age and they had coffee at one house or another every day. They would put on some Ray Charles or Bobby Darin and dance sometimes. Mama was so pretty and fun. She always made things extra nice, especially birthdays and holidays, but often would treat us to a Special day for no reason. She always loved to have fun and still does. Mom loves the State Fair of Texas. I was going to add her picture in 1950 here, but I am having trouble getting anymore pictures uploaded. I will try again later.

On weekends Mom and Dad would have family and friends over for BBQ's or a fish fry and Dad would always make homemade ice cream. There was least six cousins or company kids over. We played Swinging Statue, Roll Over Red Rover, Mother May I.

There were a lot of advertising lights. Everytime a store had a grand opening, they would rent them. You know those big spot lights that criss cross in the sky. We played like they were giant ant antennas, like in the movie "Them" and played a game where you had to hit the ground flat when they went over. It was good times. Much squealing and panic.

Sister and I shared a room and liked to scare each other. I would get a flashlight and bring my hand down slowly over it and it made a giant hand on the ceiling, she would convince me there was a man looking in the window. I feel sorry for sister now in retrospect. I wet the bed till I was six years old. I think I was an irritating child, always wanting to know everything and talking all the time. I know my Granny Williams (Mom's side) said so more than once. She had to take Valiums, called them her "nerve" pills. She was always offering them to Mom.

I think I was almost six when we quit going to church. It was around then that we started hearing a new sound coming from the living room after we went to bed. I remember lying in bed wondering what was making that poppsshhh sound. I was a sneaky devil and snuck down the hall and peeked and it turned out to be Mom opening cans of Schitz Beer. I had never known them to ever drink. They probably didn't even like the taste back then. It was preached against much in church, but many things that were a sin in the spring were fine to do in the summer. It was a bit confusing for me. I sure liked it though.

My hands say I have rattled enough for today.

Page One - The Day I Arrived - August 16, 1954

2006-03-14T21:43:00.000-06:00

August 16, 1954 arriving at 6lbs & 2ozs, with a head full of black hair, it's ME!

There have been many things happen since that day.

Though only a half-century ago, in retrospect 1954 seems worlds removed from today. The United States was embarking on a period of peace and prosperity. War hero-turned-president Dwight D. Eisenhower was in the first half of his first term as president; Richard M. Nixon was vice president. The Korean War had ended the previous year. Veterans thrived and prospered as they joined the work force, bought homes and raised families. The Soviet Union was a looming, if distant, threat. Great Depression, World War II and the Korean War were in the past. Life was good in America. Changes every day made life even easier. Television was booming. From the time my Mama first layed me on a pallet in front of a television, I was hooked.. I could tell you what time it was by what I was watching at the moment. These are the shows that were on the year I was born, some of them are still showing somewhere.:
Gillette Cavalcade of Sports (1946-1960).
Kukla, Fran and Ollie (1947-1957).
Howdy Doody (1947-1960).
Kraft Television Theater (1947-1958).
Meet the Press (1947-present).
Candid Camera (1948-present).
The Ed Sullivan Show (1948-1971).
Bozo the Clown (1949-present).
The Goldbergs (1949-1955).
The Voice of Firestone (1949-1963).
Cisco Kid (1950-1956).
The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show (1950-1958).
The Jack Benny Show (1950-1965).
Truth or Consequences (1950-1988).
What's My Line (1950-1967).
Your Hit Parade (1950-1959).
Dragnet (1951-1959).
I Love Lucy (1951-1957).
Love of Life (1951-1980).
Search for Tomorrow (1951-1986).
The Roy Rogers Show (1951-1957).
Hallmark Hall of Fame (1951-present)
American Bandstand (1952-1989).
The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet (1952-1966).
My Little Margie (1952-1955).
The Guiding Light (1952-present).
The Honeymooners (1952-1970).
The Today Show (1952-present).
This Is Your Life (US) (1952-1961).
Buick-Berle Show (1953-1954); the show was renamed
The Milton Berle Show (1954-1967) this year.

I remember most of them from repeats. I was born in Irving, Texas. My Dad was a carpet layer at the time and my Mom was a housewife. He was a nineteen year old fresh from the Oklahoma hills. Education wasn't that important in the hills. My Gramdma and Pa were migrate farm workers for awhile and they had four boys and three girls that lived and I believe that my Grandpa and his Pa had a Moonshine still up in the Hills too. Dad only finished sixth grade and Mom, who grew up in town, had an eighth grade education. Mom read all the time though and could tell you anything about history or geography or really anything you needed to know. Dad was a whiz with numbers and later became a Carpet salesman, then opened his own business selling and installing Carpet, Draperies and Furniture.. He was doing really well too, until he started making too much money and drinking with his clients. Alcohol and Dad didn't mix. That ruined our "Leave it to Beaver" lifestyle.

I am getting way ahead of myself - back to 1954.
Stevie Ray Vaughn was born in Dallas. Elvis cut his first big hit. Homes were cheap. When I was three we bought a house. A nice three bedroom on a great street. White Frame with light blue trim, fenced in backyard, lots of childrens everywhere. We went to church then. The Assembly of God, a strict Pentecostal church. We could only wear dresses, no jewelry, gospel music only. We weren't supposed to have coffee or tea, but Mama fudged a bit regarding the music and coffee. My sister is two years older than me.She was the first grandchild in the family. I remember her getting up her nerve once and singing in church. "The Devil is a Sly Old Fox, a sly old fox is he, if I could I would put him in a box and throw way the key" I was the performer in the family, so that was very unusual for her to get up like that. Church was pretty much our life for a few years then we just stopped going one day. We were just kids, so no explanation was given. Things started going bad after we quit. It started slow, but it had started.....Continued next time. (hands have decided to stop working for now)

<---I was worked in the Film/Tv business in my 40's. I worked with Richard Crenna(far left) in three Made for TV movies. Just some personal trivia.